There is something so special about the way God created women. Whether we are type A or type B, introverted or extroverted, task driven or people driven, night owl or morning person… it seems as though we women are all born with the ability to nurture someone else. Even women in my life who have decided they won’t be having children of their own still have the desire to play a nurturing-motherly role in someone’s life.
My husband and I had conceived while consistently taking birth control pills in our second year of marriage. So the intial “oh my goodness I’m becoming a mom” season was full of a lot of insecurities and fears. I wasted so much time wondering what people thought about me and reading into the comments that people slipped into our conversations. During my pregnancy with my first, the nurturing instinct that was placed within me was often shadowed by the thoughts: “can I do this?” and “God, why now?” Then we met our son, Paxton, and the wondering began to quiet as we saw God’s perfect plan work it’s self out.
Even though getting pregnant a second time was something we had planned months before we actually conceived, those quiet fears and insecurities still find their way into my thoughts. Can I really do this? Be a good mom to two? Is this really the right timing and the age gap… is it okay? This time around though, I’ve decided that I won’t let the voices win. Though God made women with the ability to nurture others, it’s okay to need to be nurtured by God too. When those fears creep in, I remind myself that God made me for this and has called me to it.
As I continue to prep to become a mommy to two, I remind my self of God’s truth. He called me to my family. It’s my job to love well, pray often, and be present in my babies life. So that’s what I’m doing. I’m embracing my title: Paxton’s pregnant mommy. Soon enough I’ll have two baby to hold and kiss all day long.