Confessions of an Extreme Extrovert

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I am extremely extroverted and highly relational. Back when I was in High School and College I always had to be with friends doing something. When my husband and I were dating, I had a blast getting to know everything about him.

It doesn’t take long for people to realize how I extroverted I really am. When you score 99% relational on a personality test people don’t need to be told you like to have relationships because they see it in the way you live.

Although you can often tell if a person is extroverted or introverted when you meet them, there are somethings that take time to discover about a person.
Here are a few confessions from an extreme extrovert…

I still value alone time. Being a people person means I often allow my schedule to fill up. However, sitting in silence with a cup of coffee, my heating blanket, and a good book fuels me too. If it’s a really good book, I can even read it for a few days in a row uninterrupted. I’ll be honest though, most of my quiet times aren’t quiet, I almost always have background noise going on.

I need relationships that go beyond surface level. Finding close friends is so important for me. I need people in my life who want to talk about things that matter. I want to talk about wild dreams and brainstorm everything we need to do to make them happen. I want to talk about real things that are really happening in our world. Deep connections and raw relationships fuel me.

I have the tendency to over commit. I used to think that this had to do with people pleasing, but the older I get the more I have noticed that I want to do as much as I can with my life. I have a high threshold to work diligently yet fast paced, so saying “yes” doesn’t tend to scare me. I have to be extra mindful of how much I say yes to. (I have learned this the hard way)

Mingling makes me nervous. My husband often teases me over this because he knows how much I love being with people; however, mingling only allows you to get to a certain point in a conversation before you hop on over to another conversation. I’d rather chat over coffee with a handful of people.

Even in my free-time I’d rather be achieving my goals. There is an ongoing joke in our home that “Cassie doesn’t like movies.” It’s not that I don’t like TV it’s just that I would rather be achieving goals. If I am doing something that feels wasteful, it drains me. I don’t have many moments of doing nothing. My husband is currently teaching me how to “turn my brain off.”

Struggling relationships can quickly consume my thoughts. If I think someone is mad at me or has expressed frustration I feel a need to fix everything right away. I want my relationships to be thriving and healthy. If they aren’t going well, then I spend a lot of time trying to come up with the best solution to fix everything.

These are just a few facts about what being an extrovert looks like in my life.
What about you?
I would love to hear how you are wired and if you can relate to any of these!

12 Comments

  1. Walter Martin February 12, 2016 at 4:13 am #

    I can relate on many levels. In your blog you wrote that you need relationships that go beyond the surface. This is totally me, I would rather set and have a genuine meaningful conversation all night long than watch TV. I love to sit and chat and be social especially throgh activities because your making your own memories with other people. To me, that’s fun and exciting and growing in relationships that are genuine. I also value my alone time as I like to take long walks and just reflect on life. I feel like there isn’t enough of our extroverted types out there in this industrial day and age of technology where many people find higher self-esteem and openness probably because its a safe move and there is more control over encounters. I need more than a Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat of a relationship. I need face to face encounters that allows me to see the vulnerable and to be vulnerable with who I am. Deep down I’m an emotional warm hearted super extroverted Teddy bear. In your post you mentioned how struggling relationships bother you, it does me as well. I feel I am a very likeable person and I never want others to feel angry with me if I might have done or said something without knowing it hurts them. I just don’t want others to see me as a person who is careless and cold hearted. It tugs at my heart strings if I am convinced that I have caused a struggling relationship (which is very rare because I’m a giver in most relationships). Either way I am a fixer because I don’t want to strife or a desensitized relationship no matter if its my wife or just an acquaintance. I suppose this is why God chose me to become one day a family and marriage counselor/pastoral counselor. Overall, I feel like we are very similar in life but unfortunately there aren’t enough of us in our culture today. Maybe more people like us can encourage others to embrace a highly extroverted self!

    Reply

    • cassielittel February 12, 2016 at 9:35 am #

      Thanks for sharing those thoughts, Walter. Sounds like we do have some similar traits! That’s awesome that God has given you a dream to lead other’s through relationships and mentorship! I think you will be an awesome counselor!

      I agree, I love inspiring others to be bold and not be afraid to take risks!

      If I were to add one more I would add, “I need introverts in my life.” I know that inward processing, taking time to slow down, and taking life with more caution would be great, but I’m just not wired that way, that’s why I need more people in my life to teach and inspire me to do those things!

      Reply

      • Walter Martin February 12, 2016 at 11:25 am #

        I agree, we need our introverted friends!

        Reply

        • cassielittel February 12, 2016 at 1:56 pm #

          hahaha, YES!

          Reply

  2. Jill Schafhauser February 12, 2016 at 3:37 pm #

    Mingling makes me nervous…
    Me TOO! My husband calls me a ‘fake extrovert’ because in general I am fueled by relationships, hanging with large groups of people I know, being creative and collaborating with others, etc. In most ways I present as a card-carrying-extrovert. However, mingling and small talk is truly painful for me. Can I do it well? Yes. Do I avoid it? Yes. I need to talk with people I feel connected to about things that are important to at least one of us. Like you, I also enjoy time alone but during that time I’m often thinking about who I want to share something with or how I might teach something that I’m learning.
    Thanks for the great blog post! Your heart is showing and it looks awesome!! 🙂

    Reply

    • cassielittel February 12, 2016 at 10:20 pm #

      Kyle loves to mingle!! He thrives in situations where he can just say hi to as many people in the room as possible. Who can I share and teach? That is my brain in a nutshell, too funny!! We sound a lot alike!

      Thanks for the encouragement! I enjoy writing a lot, I love being able to share it with others. I often ask Kyle to sit next time me when I write…. people person problems!!

      Reply

  3. Casey Gibbons February 12, 2016 at 3:40 pm #

    I feel like I just wrote this article! Spot on! Love it. Totally understand and agree!

    Reply

    • cassielittel February 12, 2016 at 10:21 pm #

      Love that! Thanks for sharing, Casey. I just saw your Instagram post about your kiddos waiting for lunch and how God has grown your heart for kiddos, that sounded just like me too! Too funny!

      Reply

  4. Haley Chapman March 3, 2016 at 8:18 pm #

    I just found your blog through Twitter and stumbled upon this post, and I’m amazed at how much I relate to this! I’ve known I was an extrovert for a while now, but I never connected that to things such as over-committing or being upset if my friends were mad at me in even the slightest form.

    The thing that really hit home with me though was needing to have deep relationships and pour into people! We have a running joke with my friends that I’m the “Mom” due to the amount of advice I dish out. One day I hope to venture out into the world of blogging also to help others in the same way, but until then I’ll just be running possible posts through my mind. Thanks again for such a relatable post & for being someone to really look up to! ☺️

    Reply

    • cassielittel March 3, 2016 at 10:53 pm #

      Wow.Thanks so much for sharing all of this Haley!

      I can’t wait to read your blogs one day. Great advice I was given when I first started writing was blog every day, but you don’t need to post them all. There are many blogs I have written that will never be shared. It’s a great place to start. If your serious about starting a blog one day, start exercising the writing gift now!

      It’s a beautiful thing to know who you are, really well. It’s the way we can become stronger, better, and how we grow! Thanks again, these words meant a lot to me.

      Reply

  5. Tuoyo Anderson March 6, 2016 at 5:04 pm #

    I guess i will be the first to say am a complete opposite of what you described on this post. Am a complete introert,infact i sometimes feel tired of talking,i enjoy being alone to read ,think and write down plans or stuff i want to do,infact loneliness doesnt scare me(which am also scared of) and my quiet times are really quiet. writing is best way i love to communicate with people. Trust me i can explain and express myself for hours just by writing. Unfortunately i cant just write and write i need to talk, although i enjoy talking and hanging with my siblings and making people laugh(people who i know or decide to hang with me). Honestly i pray someday i marry a man who is outgoing and outspoken , not shy or reserved like. Yeah i must conclude by saying,i love bloggers and Jesus loving people,so i love you. I pray God blesses you and your famly. And fill you with His sweet Holy Spirit more and more. Amen.

    Reply

    • cassielittel March 6, 2016 at 10:45 pm #

      Ah, this is great! I love how God makes everyone so different. My husband is teaching me how to have quiet, quiet times 🙂 haha! God makes everyone the way he does on purpose! You have so much value & I believe in what you offer this world!

      I feel that love!! Sending it right back to you. Appreciate the preyers very much! Praying for you and your future spouse, he will be great!

      Reply

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