Forgiveness

How to Forgive When It Still Hurts

By Cassie Littel · Adapted from her message “The Story of Forgiveness”

I don’t have a resume for this one because I’m great at forgiving. It’s the opposite. Unforgiveness has been my greatest struggle since I was young. So this comes from a real place.

You’ve heard the quotes. Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick. Forgiveness is for you, not them. They’re true. But they don’t take away the pain that caused the unforgiveness in the first place.

What Jesus said

In Matthew 18, Jesus tells the story of a servant who is forgiven a huge debt, then turns around and demands payment from someone who owes him a little. In both moments, he’s focused on one person: himself.

Forgiveness is not a feeling. It’s a call to action.

Don’t wait until you feel ready

We tie forgiveness to timing. When I understand why. When I feel ready. When it feels right. But if forgiveness is an action, you can decide today. You can settle it now: there’s no room in my life for anger or resentment.

You were never given that authority

The person you’re holding may be someone who wants to be forgiven, maybe even needs it. Freedom comes for both of you when you release them from a place you were never given authority to put them.

That week I had some hard conversations. I looked people I love in the face and said, “I forgive you.” It was hard. It was also freedom. And no, being in ministry doesn’t make it easier. We walk through the same things you do.

It comes in layers

Forgiveness isn’t one and done. You think you dealt with it, and two years later life throws a curve and you’re wrestling again. That’s not failure. That’s the process.

Take a step today

• Write down what you think forgiveness is.
• Name the person you need to forgive.
• Say it out loud, to God, a friend, or them: “I forgive you.”
• When it comes back up, forgive again.

God doesn’t just want us singing about freedom. He wants us living it.

About Cassie

Cassie Littel is a communicator, ministry leader, strategist, and mom of four. She speaks and writes about faith that works on Monday.

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